Looks Like Lipstick, Tastes Like Blood: My Face Goes Ice Sailing

"Take a picture!   Take a picture!"  I implored Peconic Jeff.  All my teeth were where they belonged and the pain wasn't bad, so my focus was on getting a good photo for the blog.

Jeff snapped a few photos.  He wasn’t jazzed.  "Unfortunately it looks like you're wearing lipstick," he tells me.   Jeff understands...if I'm going to get pounded in the face and spit out blood, I should at least get a righteous photo out of it.  Instead I apparently look like I've been playing with cosmetics.

I'm way ahead of the story here.  Let's start from the beginning:

Scott called and said that ice sailing at Bellport was the move for Saturday.  The Long Island Yahoo mob was also talking about windsurfing the hard stuff at Bellport, so off I went.    It was quite a scene...ice skaters, ice boaters, windsurfers all enjoying the beautifully iced bay.  I found Scott and met Jeff Slechta (an ice-board guru) and began wandering around the staging area checking out all the different boards (including Pete Roesch's ski board, which uses skis instead of blades.)   After ten minutes of gawking I took a spin on the Wolf's unconventional rig (which Scott calls "The Shopping Cart" for all the racket it makes.)   The Wolf was down in Florida, but his gear was here and I took advantage of it.

After fooling around with the Cart for a while (couldn't make it jibe, but had some fairly speedy helitacks) I returned in search of a more conventional board to try.   I found Jeff returning with a Slechta board sporting a bent blade...Jeff had been run down from behind by an ice boat, dinging the blade and sending Jeff flying (Jeff was okay).    I tightened the strap on my helmet and took a board that Scott handed to me (thank you Mr. Slechta for your generosity with equipment!) and went out to try and carve my first ice jibes.

The board accelerated much faster than the Wolf’s, and carving into Michael’s first ice jibe was a tentative affair.   But I exited with plenty of speed, and was overly confident when I initiated my second jibe a minute later.   Here’s what happened:

I dropped the rig to the inside of the turn when I was just past straight downwind.  Unlike conventional windsurfing, this had no effect at all on my speed.  I bent over to pick up the rig, which carved the board through more of the turn.   

So now I’m flying along on a broad reach, and will be backwinded when I raise the rig.   I thought I had enough speed-generated apparent wind to make controlling the sail possible, so lift it I did.

I don’t really know how it all went wrong, but I do know that the boom head slammed into my mouth and knocked me off the board.
Fortunately the unmanned board and sail didn’t slide much further than I did, and I was soon reunited with board and sail.   Though some drops of blood were spotting the ice.  Slightly dazed, I sailed back to look for Peconic Jeff…I had to get a photo out of this!

Top photo:  I was so happy to get a photo.  About fifteen minutes later my lip swelled up grotesquely.  Middle:  Pete on his ski board.   Bottom:  Long Island Men of Ice.  More photos from the day can be found on Jeff's Flickr page.)

Comments

[george markopoulos]

SCARY

[the editor]

Scary is what my mouth looked like 15 minutes later. I snapped some photos with my cellphone, but they are just too nasty to post. Suffice it to say my lip looked bad. I still have quite the scab, though the puffy-ness is almost gone.

What's genuinely scary about ice windsurfing are the guys in ice boats who are drinking while they're out there. Some of these folks are getting up to 50mph or more, have poor breaks and marginal steering. And a buzz on. The guy who ran down Peconic Jeff..I wonder what was going through his mind. Single malt scotch, perhaps?

[Joe Rouse]

If I said it once, I'll say it twice, John "Fucking" Wayne. God damn it, I need to drink some scotch. Excuse me while I leave the room.

[Jeff, aka Peconic Jeff]

I've uploaded some photos from the day while resting my aching bones. They are viewable in full-screen mode via the slideshow link.

[the editor]

Nice slideshow, Jeff. Been talking with K-Dog about his freestyle stance on the ice...he says he jibes into back-to-front! Would like to try that (would like to just watch it, heck!)

Joe, you gotta get out there and get dinged yourself...and then get the photo! When I look at that shot now what sticks out is how all the blood is on my bottom lip. All the actual damage is on my upper lip, which isn't too pretty three days after the fact.

[mike burns]

ouch. Did you leave any lipstick on the boom?

[Michael]

Lipstick, no. Lip, yes.

The good news is that today my mouth is looking normal...I don't feel the need to explain what happened without being asked!

[Bunty]

A war wound to be proud of! Even though it does look like lipstick.

[Peter Kimball]

ice sailing is canceled
I wiped out on a duck jibe gone squirely and landed on my shoulder. good thing I had on a helmet or I would have been hospital bound for sure. Shoulder crushed big time. The most pain I have had since a teenager. Was there with a doc. No permanant damage but still sore. 2 weeks later. missed this weekend due to recovery.

[the editor]

I hear you, Peter. To me the biggest single difference in windsurfing ice is not the ice, but the increased peril. It doesn't keep me off the ice, but it certainly causes me to sail conservatively.

Good luck with the shoulder. I unfortunately have a lot of experience with physical therapy and surgery for shoulders...if you ever want to have a talk about that let me know and we'll talk directly. Meanwhile, put some ice on it and rest! Good luck with that Peter.

[Tom O'Brien]

Full Hockey Gear required for this sport! Including helmet with face cage.

TO'B
Chicago